


Life Lessons

by nyghtrain



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe - Afterlife, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2013-02-05
Packaged: 2017-11-28 07:36:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/671918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyghtrain/pseuds/nyghtrain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Afterlife AU. Hakkai and Gojyo reflect on their favorite memory of making love. Written for 2011 Saiyuki Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life Lessons

Limbo was boring. He wondered if it made him a terrible person to wish for company. He sighed and wandered around with the restless spirits, each waiting their turn to be reincarnated. There was this vague disconnect surrounding him, like he should feel sad or angry or... something, but all he felt was a slight anxiousness that tinged the tedium of his wandering. He frowned and tried to remember his last moments alive. 

_Stone walls crumbled down all around him. He kept trying to sit up, but for some reason his body wouldn't respond. There was something important he was supposed to be doing. He stopped trying to move and instead looked. A curtain of red hung over him. Gojyo's mouth was moving, but he couldn't hear him over the ringing in his ears. Then Gojyo walked away. Hakkai tried to follow him and that was when he realized he couldn't feel his legs._

_Gojyo didn't go far. He shoved at the broken piece of pillar crushing Hakkai's body. It was useless, but still he tried, even as the castle fell around him. Hakkai felt something choke in his throat, blood and tears, because he knew Gojyo was trying to save him even though part of him must have known it was too late. He also knew he had to convince him to leave._

_He must have done something to get his attention, because the next moment Gojyo was by his side. Gojyo took his hand and Hakkai could almost feel it. With the last of his strength he managed to speak._

_There was so much he wanted to say, but there was only one thing he could. He looked at Gojyo and in this one action tried to return all the love and dedication Gojyo had given him. "Go!"_

"Cho Hakkai."

Hakkai blinked. He mentally shook himself from his musing and focused on the short man standing before him. The man looked slightly annoyed. 

"I'm sorry. Did you need something from me?"

The man grunted and Hakkai thought he could give Sanzo a run for his money with the scowl he directed Hakkai's way. "Cho Hakkai, also known as Cho Gonou, also known as..."

The man began to ramble off a list of names and Hakkai watched him with a sense of bewilderment mixed in with a nagging remembrance. Him, all him, but each one different. 

"...also known as Tenpou, correct?" The man finished. 

"Ah, yes?"

He nodded, checked his clipboard, and scribbled something down. "Come this way."

Hakkai wasn't sure what was to come next, but he followed the man through an entrance that Hakkai was sure hadn't been there before. The entrance led to a corridor lined with doors. The man didn't slow, but passed door after door until they finally reached a plain green door, neat, clean, but with cracks over it. Hakkai eyed the door and then the man. The man looked at him expectantly. 

"Well go on."

Hakkai wasn't so sure that was a good idea. "Pardon my hesitation, but can you explain what is inside?"

The man gave a long-suffering sigh. "Memories. Cho Hakkai's memories to be exact. You would think you would know the drill as many times you've been here." He looked at the clipboard and frowned. "Well, you always were the stubborn sort. Here it is in a nutshell. You go in, watch some old memories, and then figure out what you were supposed to learn. Once you do then we'll put you in the next life cycle. Got it?"

"I see," Hakkai said. He wasn't too keen on that. His life hadn't exactly been pleasant. 

"Move it! I don't have all day."

Hakkai sighed. He opened the door and walked inside. The door shut and locked behind him.

***

He didn't know how long he stayed there. It felt like days or possibly months, but time didn't really work the way it did when he was alive. All he knew was that he wasn't hungry or tired, just incredibly weary. All he could really gather from his memories was that his life had been a mix of blood, violence, one unfortunate event after another, and a strange ability to stay alive, well until Hontou castle. It seemed the gods' generosity ran out once the job was finished. 

He sat down on the one piece of furniture in the room. A couch that looked exactly like the one back in the ramshackle house he liked to think of as home. When he looked at it he felt something tug at his mind, but obviously he was too obtuse to understand what it meant. 

There was a soft click behind him and the first time since he entered the room, the door opened. There was a flash of red, long limbs, and a wide smile, and then Hakkai was on his feet.

"Gojyo!" He gaped at him. His mind rushed to piece together the sight in front of him. 

Gojyo grinned and swaggered over and then plopped down on the couch. "What's wrong? You act like you've seen a ghost."

Hakkai winced at that joke. "On the contrary. I was under the assumption that you were still alive."

"Yeah, about that," Gojyo said, rubbing his head and not quite looking Hakkai in the eye. "I tried to get out, but didn't quite make it."

"Oh Gojyo," Hakkai said and sat down. He reached out and very gently ran his fingers though Gojyo's hair. A soft sigh passed his lover's lips. Even if Gojyo hadn't listened to Hakkai's final wish, he couldn't be angry with him. After all, Hakkai would have stayed, too. "Not to frown at my good fortune, but what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be pondering your life?"

"Already did. I decided I rather find you," Gojyo said with a leer. 

Hakkai chuckled. "Whatever you might be thinking. I don't think it's possible here."

"Wanna check?" Gojyo asked.

Hakkai couldn't see a reason not to. He had been wrong before. Unfortunately, this time he was right. As soon as the touching got heated, they were suddenly on opposite sides of the room. Gojyo started to swear or at least attempt to. His words muted on all the curse words. Annoyed, Gojyo returned to the couch and patted the seat next to him. 

"Hopefully, they don't have anything against cuddling."

"I didn't realize you've gotten so sentimental," Hakkai said, joining him on the couch and leaning into him. 

"Yeah, well death changes a person." Gojyo wrapped his arm around Hakkai. 

Hakka thought 'liberate' might be a better word choice. Gojyo always enjoyed touching, even if it was just a casual arm around his shoulders. He was a definite closet cuddler. 

"So, this is your memory room. I'm guessing you haven't figured out what you needed to learn?" Gojyo asked.

"I suppose not."

"Hmmm." There was something about the sound that made Hakkai look up. 

A devilish smile curled Gojyo's lips. 

Hakkai arched an eyebrow. 

"I was just thinking. If we can't enjoy a little one-on-one action, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy a show or two."

Gojyo," Hakkai said, shaking his head. "Really."

"Oh, come on. You know you want to," Gojyo grinned and laughed. "I'll even let you go first. What was your favorite memory of us getting naked?"

"Incorrigible," Hakkai said with a small smile and then tilted his head in thought. "I suppose in this situation, people usually say the first time."

Just like that, the room shifted and they were both back in that small ramshackle house. On the rickety, but surprisingly sturdy, bed was Hakkai with a young and very naked Gojyo straddling his hips. 

"Shit, shit, shit! Hakkai, spit isn't going to cut it."

Hakkai sat up, his hair messy, his cheeks flush, and his eyes lost and desperate. It made him wince to see it. 

Gojyo caught the look and sighed. "Just give me a second." 

He climbed off of Hakkai and went to the bathroom. A few moments later, he came back with lotion. It was cheap, unscented, and perfect for what they had planned. 

Hakkai had sat up by then and had managed to get his brain thinking enough to have second thoughts. When Gojyo sat on the bed and began putting lotion in his hand, Hakkai grabbed his wrist. 

"Are you sure about this?"

"Didn't we already talk about that?" Gojyo said, pulling his arm away and even as he poured lotion in his hand, Hakkai saw the faintest tremble. He pretended he didn't see. 

Gojyo reached down and grabbed Hakkai's cock, slicking it up with the lotion. A soft moan spilled from Hakkai's mouth. Gojyo pumped Hakkai with long firm strokes. 

"Probably the best part of the whole thing," Gojyo muttered beside him. 

Hakkai had to agree. 

Because the next moment, his other self had dragged Gojyo down and was lining up his eager cock, wanting, demanding, and the whole time Gojyo never made a protest. After all they agreed to do this. Then Hakkai was sinking into him without preparation and Gojyo's fingers were digging into his back as he bit back a scream. 

They both cringed at the scene. 

There should have been pleasure in there somewhere, but there hadn't been for either one of them. Hakkai pounded deep into Gojyo and tried to bury all the pain and sorrow, all the anger of being alive when she wasn't, and Gojyo took it all, swallowed it down like he deserved it. And somehow they both came in a mockery of release. 

The scene faded and they were back in the room with the couch. 

Gojyo shifted on the couch. "My butt hurts just looking at that."

"Yes. I don't believe that was a favorite moment for either of us," Hakkai said, and just a hint of guilt and shame slid over him. He had used Gojyo back then and a part of him had wanted it to be painful, to punish Gojyo for saving him. 

"Hey, none of that," Gojyo said and tugged Hakkai until he was tumbling into Gojyo's arms. "Besides, that one didn't count. We were both looking at someone else back then."

"But Gojyo, it was technically the first time," Hakkai said. "And the way I hurt you."

"Like I said. That doesn't count," Gojyo said and pulled him into his lap. "Now this is what I consider the first time."

Once again the room vanished and they were sitting at a bar in some nameless inn. They had been on the journey west for a year and Gojyo finally decided that enough was enough. The bar had already closed down. Since guest could come down at any time and use the pool table even if the bar was close, the bartender had already left. It was just him and Hakkai.

"If I win this you have to do something for me."

"Oh," Hakkai said, "And if I win?"

"I owe you something," Gojyo said.

Hakkai nodded and smiled. "I do have a few chores I could use help with."

Gojyo gave a clip nod and tried to ignore the nagging worry that Hakkai tended to win at everything and was he just setting himself up for disappointment. No, he had to win and though Hakkai was good at pool, Gojyo was better. 

He threw himself into the game. Hakkai must have noticed his intensity, because he kept giving Gojyo strange looks. Gojyo refused to meet his eyes and focused on the game. Soon it was just the eight ball on the table and Gojyo called it. He leaned over and then shot. It sunk in. He won! Fuck, he won.

"Well done, Gojyo. I don't think I've ever seen you so focused," Hakkai said, putting away his pool stick. 

"That stakes were high."

"And what exactly are the stakes?" Hakkai asked, curiously.

Gojyo swallowed and walked towards Hakkai. His palms were sweating and he was torn on whether he was about to make the worst or best decision of his life. He stood over Hakkai and put his hands on his best friend's arms. "Don't kill me, okay?"

"What-" Hakkai started to say, but his words were cut off when Gojyo pressed his mouth against his. 

For a moment, Hakkai's lips were stiff and unmoving and then they slowly relaxed. Hakkai lips parted and Gojyo was sinking his tongue into that hot mouth and tasting him. He tasted like mint chocolate, sake, and a hint of something that was just Hakkai. 

Fuck it was good. Too good, he was already hard and if he wasn't careful he might just take him here and now. He started to pull away and then Hakkai slid his hand down, cupping him through his pants and giving him a tight squeeze. 

"Fuck, Hakkai, if you keep doing that-" And whatever the rest of that sentence was going to be disappeared, because Hakkai squeezed again and then leaned close. 

His breath brushed over the shell of Gojyo's ear. "Fuck me, Gojyo."

And Hakkai swearing with that sultry tone was answer enough. Gojyo was already halfway out of his pants when a thought crossed his mind and screwed up the mood. He turned to Hakkai. He had braced himself against the pool table. His skin was flushed and his clothes crumpled and he looked way too fuckable for words, but Gojyo didn't want this to turn out the same way as last time. 

He strode over and put his hands on Hakkai's shoulders. "I want to get something straight right from the start. This is about me and you, no one else. You got that."

Hakkai looked away. "Last time-"

"Fuck last time. That's the past and it can stay in the goddamn past like it belongs." Gently, but firmly, he turned Hakkai's face towards him. "This is just me wanting you and hopefully it's the same for you."

For a breath Hakkai didn't say anything and then he nodded. Still Gojyo wasn't sure and maybe they needed to wait a day or so, even if his cock was ready to burst and he had been waiting years for this moment. Then Hakkai met his eyes and in them was a mix of want and tenderness that got Gojyo's heart beating like it was ready to hammer out of his chest. 

"I want you, Gojyo," Hakkai said, taking his hand and guiding it between his legs. "Please."

"God," Gojyo breathed out and then he was sliding his hand down Hakkai's pants. His fingers wrapped around him and stroked. Hakkai arched up and whimpered and Gojyo was sure he had never heard anything as sexy in his life. He continued stroking him, his own cock straining, and then Hakkai grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

"Gojyo, if you keep doing that, I'm going to come." He met his eyes. "I want you inside me. Now."

"Yeah." And Gojyo's mind splintered into a rush of thoughts, before coming back together with the knowledge that he needed lube. And lucky for him he had some in his pocket, and yes he was a pervert and carried lube around in his pocket on the off chance that his best friend who he had been groping with his eyes for who knew how long, would say that he would like Gojyo to fuck him on a pool table. 

But maybe Hakkai didn't want to do it on the table. Maybe he wanted to get cozy in the room. Gojyo looked at the stairs and it seemed an awfully far distance and then he looked back at Hakkai and gaped, because in the midst of his brain shortage, Hakkai had stripped and slid on top of the pool table, like one of those girls from one of his porno magazines, but a hundred times hotter. 

He must have been staring for a while, because Hakkai's whole body turned this pretty shade of pink and he said in this almost shy voice. "Gojyo."

Gojyo moved. He stripped off his clothes and then walked over to Hakkai, but he didn't jump to the main course. He wanted to show Hakkai just how much this meant to him, just how much he wanted him, would always want him. He kissed those pale firm lips, sliding his tongue to rub against Hakkai's before tangling in a dance of flesh. His hands danced over Hakkai's body, brushing his side, before climbing up to rub his thumb over his nipples.

A loud moan pulled from Hakkai's throat and any shyness he might have had, seemed to disappear as he writhe under Gojyo. Gojyo kissed his neck then lapped over his collarbone. Hakkai's skin tasted clean with just a hint of sweat. He couldn't get enough, but the best part was when Hakkai started touching him back. His fingers dragged down his back and then rubbed over his ass. 

Gojyo groaned, because it was better than anything he had ever felt and it went past lust into something else that he had known for a while was there, but he couldn't quite admit to himself. He licked Hakkai's nipple, then sucked the bud into his mouth. Hakkai made needy gasping sounds and if he kept doing that, Gojyo wasn't going to be able to last. 

He let go of his nipple and then kissed down his stomach. He felt Hakkai tense when he went over his scar, but Gojyo ignored it. This scar marked Hakkai as his. He kissed down it and then slid to the hard red cock waiting for him. Hakkai shivered. 

Gojyo leaned over and kissed the tip of his cock. Hakkai's breath grew heavy and Gojyo could feel the thump of his heart in the delicate vein climbing down Hakkai's shaft. He licked the length of him, tasting the deep musk of his lover. His lover! With that thought he swallowed him, sucking him deep into his mouth. Hakkai's hands immediately went to his hair, burying his fingers into red locks, but he didn't pull, just held on as Gojyo sucked and slurped.

"Go-Gojyo. S-stop."

Gojyo pulled off Hakkai; giving his cock one more lick, before looking down at Hakkai. His green eyes were unfocused and heavy with lust. 

He leaned down and kissed him, so deep and overflowing with a feeling that was ready to choke him. Then he pulled away, grabbing the lube from his pocket and quickly coating his fingers with it. Hakkai spread his legs for him and Gojyo took a moment to stare at the sight, before sliding a finger over Hakkai's entrance and then deep into it. He was so hot and he had to make himself not rush it. 

He pumped one digit inside and then another. Hakkai was tense, but Gojyo rubbed his thigh and whispered encouragement. Hakkai relaxed and soon Gojyo was able to add a third finger. Hakkai rocked his hips up and Gojyo just couldn't take it anymore. 

He pulled his fingers out and slicked up his dick and then he was lining it up against Hakkai's entrance. "Just relax."

"Yes," Hakkai breathed out.

Then Gojyo was pushing in, inch-by-inch, until he was surrounded by tight heat and he had to move, needed desperately to move, but he waited. Sweat covered his brow. Then the best thing ever happened, and Hakkai rocked his hips. Gojyo pushed inside him and he tried to go slow at first, but the sensation was too good and he started moving deeper in, searching for that spot inside Hakkai he knew would be there. 

He must have found it, because suddenly Hakkai arched up with a loud, "Gojyo. Yes!"

Then he was pounding into Hakkai and he knew nothing before this could compare. He could feel himself getting closer and he reached out and wrapped his hand around Hakkai's cock and stroked. 

"Come on. Come for me."

Hakkai let out a sharp moan and then hot seed was spilling over Gojyo's hand and Hakkai clenched around him and Gojyo couldn't hold back. He slammed into him once, twice, and then he was coming and for a minute everything went white. 

When he came back to himself, he was holding on to Hakkai's waist as his lover stroked his hair. "Thank you, Gojyo," Hakkai whispered.

"Any time," Gojyo said and he felt like he could keep smiling forever. 

The scene vanished and they were back on the couch. Gojyo's arms were wrapped around Hakkai and Hakkai could feel something hard poking him in his backside. He was half hard himself. 

"Hakkai," Gojyo breathed on his neck.

Hakkai shivered and leaned into him as Gojyo's hand snaked in-between his legs. Suddenly they were on opposite sides of the room again. Gojyo growled and started to shout, but whatever he was saying was muted, which only set him off more. 

Hakkai watched, one part amused and one part very, very annoyed. He really needed to talk to someone about this rule. 

Finally, Gojyo flopped down on the couch. "This sucks."

"I'll have to agree," Hakkai said and joined him, this time he made sure to keep a little distance between them, just in case temptation arose. 

"Well it was pretty hot."

"Yes, but not my favorite," Hakkai said. 

Gojyo stared at him like he couldn't believe he just said that. Hakkai grinned. 

"Do you want to see?"

Gojyo laughed. "You like to torture us, don't you?"

"Well, you asked."

"Sure. Go ahead."

"All right."

The room faded and they were in a small room. It was dark and though they had made sure to rest as much as they could they were all mentally exhausted with the worries of what tomorrow would bring. Hakkai tried not to think about it, instead he thought about how lucky they had been to find an inn just a few hours away from Hontou, which seemed to go strangely unnoticed by the youkai. Or maybe they didn't see the point of attacking when the ikkou would be walking in like sheep into a pack of wolves. 

"Hey, move over."

Hakkai turned over and was surprised to see Gojyo standing over him. Without a word, he slid over, making room for him. Gojyo climbed into bed and immediately wrapped his arms around Hakkai. 

"I promise, no funny business," Gojyo said, tightening his hold. "I just want to feel ya."

Hakkai understood. It was part of the reason none of them complained about having only one room. They all needed to feel the other's presence around them, to know that at least now they were alive and together. None of them would admit it, of course. At this moment, though, Hakkai was starting to regret it just a little. This could be their last night. 

Hakkai rolled over and slid his hand down Gojyo's shorts, cupping him. He gave him a squeeze. 

"Hakkai!" Gojyo squeaked out and then tilted his head at the other two.

Sanzo was sleep in his bed and some time in the night, Goku had climbed in and curled around him. They looked good together. Happy. Hakkai silently hoped that their happiness could keep moving forward. But right now, he wasn't concern about them. Right now it was about him and Gojyo. 

Hakkai met Gojyo's eyes. "Personally, I am very willing to divulge in some funny business."

Gojyo looked at Hakkai like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Hakkai gave Gojyo's cock another stroke, making sure he drove the point home. 

"Okay, okay, just let me..." There was a soft grunt as Gojyo wiggled out of his boxers. 

Hakkai kicked off his pajama's bottoms, and then tugged off his shirt. He looked regretfully ant the pile of clothes, but folding them might be pushing it and he didn't want Gojyo's fear of getting shot to put a hold on things. 

Then all thoughts, besides Gojyo's hand on his cock and his on Gojyo's, vanished as they stroked and kissed. Maybe it was the thought that tomorrow they might die, but every touch was better than the last. His entire body was so sensitive that even just a brush of skin sent waves of pleasure coursing through his body and he wanted, no, needed more.

Hakkai leaned closer to Gojyo and whispered. "More, Gojyo. I need you to fuck me."

He felt Gojyo's cock jump in his hand.

Still Gojyo was reluctant. "It feels weird to be the one saying this, but we can't. Not with the chimp and the bitchy monk just across the room."

Obviously, Gojyo needed more convincing. Hakkai slid under the covers and wiggled down until he was facing Gojyo's cock. He leaned over and gave it a lick. A soft groan came from above him and a whiny, "Hakkai," but Gojyo didn't try to stop him. 

With a satisfied smile, Hakka ran his tongue down Gojyo's shaft. He tasted wonderful and Hakkai wanted more. He leaned down and ran his tongue over Gojyo's balls, sucking and kissing them, before licking back up his length to the head.

He ran his tongue across the slit, tasting the sharp tang of pre-come, before swallowing him down and greedily sucking him into his mouth. A long groan spilled from Gojyo's mouth as he bobbed up and down on him. Then Gojyo's hands were sliding into his hair, pulling lightly, and giving shallow thrust as he fucked his mouth. Hakkai loved it when he did that. He moaned and Gojyo arched up, sliding deeper into Hakkai's mouth. 

"Fuck, Hakkai," he called out hoarsely. 

Hakkai pulled back with a smirk and slid out of the covers. "That is the point."

Gojyo barked out a laughed and slid his arm over his eyes. "Fine. You win. Lube in my pocket."

Hakkai gave him a grateful smile, before crawling out of bed and grabbing Gojyo's pants. He fished the lube out of his pocket. He had stopped questioning Gojyo just on why he carried lube in his pocket, since the answer was obvious and it did come in handy. 

He slid into bed, pausing as he watched Gojyo's hand sliding up and down his cock. He looked amazing. His coiled muscle straining, his cock flushed and ready, still wet from Hakkai's mouth. He wanted him. He climbed back on the bed, facing Gojyo, watching his hand slid up and down.

Gojyo chuckled softly. "Are you going to just watch or are you going to join me?"

"In a minute," Hakkai breathed out. He didn't want to wait and he knew if Gojyo touched him now, he just might come. 

So he opened the lube, coating his fingers with the slick, and then opened his legs. He pushed a finger into his hole. A soft whimper spilled from his lips as he began thrusting the digit in and out. His eyes drifted close and he added another finger, pushing in and out, in and out, loosening himself as he imagined Gojyo's cock sinking deep into him. 

A strangled groaned sounded in the room and Hakkai opened his eyes to see Gojyo watching him, his gaze burning. 

"That's so fucking hot, Hakkai."

Hakkai slid his fingers out of him with a soft pop. His breathing came out in soft pants. "Quiet, Gojyo, or you'll wake Sanzo."

"Stop worrying about the monk and get over here," Gojyo said, slicking up his cock.

Hakkai was happy to oblige. He climbed over Gojyo's hard body, rubbing his backside over Gojyo's length with a playful smile. 

"Hakkai, please, stop teasing."

"If you insist." He slid down on Gojyo's cock, burying him deep inside him. 

The both moaned in unison. It was a mixture of pain and pleasure, like everything about them, and Hakkai would never change a moment of it. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Gojyo's, tasting ash, beer, and something that felt like freedom. He rode him slow at first, just wanting to feel his hard length sliding deep into him as if touching every bit of him in one long stroke. Then Gojyo twisted his hips and thrust up and into that spot and Hakkai couldn't think, just feel, as they met each other in this wild dance of passion, sex, and so much more. 

Faster and faster, until he felt something building inside him. He couldn't hold back. It rushed out of him, and he was calling out Gojyo's name and luckily Gojyo clamped his mouth over his, swallowing up his yell. Then Gojyo stiffened and he was coming inside and Hakkai was sure that there would never be a time better than this moment and somehow the thought was painful as much as it was beautiful. 

Exhausted, Hakkai flopped down on Gojyo, holding him tight and the words he had been hording until then came pouring out. "I love you."

Gojyo stiffened underneath him, but Hakkai didn't care. He needed to say this, because he didn't want to spend tomorrow regretting. He pushed up; feeling Gojyo's cock slid out of him and cupped Gojyo's face in his hand, forcing him to look at him. "I mean it."

And there was fear in Gojyo's eyes, but beyond that was hope. At that moment, Hakkai knew he should have said it long ago, but it was okay, because he said it now. So when Gojyo wrapped his arms around him and squeezed him tight and snuggled down with him like this was it for the night he didn't complain, though he very much would have liked to get clean up fist. Instead he buried his face in the crook of Gojyo's neck and smiled when he heard Gojyo whisper. 

"Right back at you, Kai."

And at that moment nothing else matter. Not the stickiness clinging to their bodies, or the way Sanzo's breathing had shifted, signaling he was awake and probably had been awake for a while. None of it mattered, because this was enough.

The scene melted away.

Gojyo chuckled. "You always were a kinky bastard." Then his hand reached out for Hakkai's and Hakkai took it and they sat there together, each just enjoying the feel of their hand and a memory of the last time. 

"What about you, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked.

"Huh?"

"What was your favorite time? The first or the last?"

Gojyo shook his head. "Neither."

Hakkai frowned. "Well?"

Gojyo laughed and pulled Hakkai over. "It's not going to show up in those memories of yours, because it hasn't happened yet."

"I don't understand," Hakkai said, trying to figure out what Gojyo could possibly mean. 

"The best time is always going to be the next one."

"But we can't do anything here," Hakkai said, as if he had to remain him of that fact.

"I know, but we got a few lives to go right? So there will be a next time."

Hakkai felt something in him tighten. "How can you be sure?"

"Because you're never going to have a life without me in it. Got it."

Hakkai smiled. "Got it." 

And perhaps this life hadn't just been about blood and violence. Just maybe, after all, it had been a good life. 

Suddenly the little man from earlier burst in. "Finally! And you're supposed to be the smart one." He snapped his fingers.

Gojyo and Hakkai vanished. 

A second later the Merciful Goddess stepped into the room. "So that's the last of them."

The man nodded. 

"Let's see what kind of trouble they get into next. Shall we?"

***

Holden looked at the ice cream cone he had clutched in his hand. The mint chocolate chip ice cream that should have been on top of the cone laid in a splattered pile on the ground. The three boys that had been the reason for it were laughing their heads off. 

"Whatcha going to do four-eyes?"

Holden considered breaking the boy's nose, but he would just get in trouble if he did. After the last time with the spork, no matter what he said the Director of the orphanage, the man wouldn't be lenient. Most of the time he wouldn't have reacted to their taunts, but the boys had been getting worst. It was all because of Bret. Bret had never really liked him, but ever since he became friend with-

"Hey, what are you guys doing?"

"What's it to you?" Bret said. "Or are you worried about your girlfriend."

The boys snickered.

Gage took a step forward, his auburn ponytail swaying with the movement. "If you want a fight I don't mind giving you one."

"Yeah, right. Chi would put your friend in the pit if he gets into another fight."

Gage raised his fist. "I never said anything about Hold fighting."

Bret laughed. "You're going to take on all three of us. Well come on."

Holden reached over and grabbed Bret's shoulder. "I'm not opposed to joining." He looked up and directly at the group. "I really did want that ice cream."

It was like the temperature dropped. Sure, Hold was just a ten-year-old loner, but when people got into fights with him they usually ended up having to be carried away. Anger management issues his counselor called it. The rest of the orphans just called him psycho. Well, except Gage. 

"Whatever. We don't have time for you guys right now, but you better watch yourselves," Bret said, jerking his shoulder out of Hold's grip and walking away. His cronies followed behind him 

"I can't believe I ever thought he was cool," Gage said, 

"Me either," Holden said, turning around and walking to the trashcan and dumping his cone into it. 

"You're not mad, are you?" Gage said, hovering over Holden. "I mean, Bret and I..."

Hold sort of liked how nervous Gage got when he thought Holden was upset with him. He shook his head and reached out and squeezed his hand. 

"Why would I be? We're friends, right?" Holden said and looked up at him, giving him a shy smile. 

"Yeah, we are," Gage said, and his cheeks had just a hint of red in them, but he looked relieved. 

Holden let go of his hand before any of the other kids saw them. He didn't really care if they did, but Gage always complained that it was gay for two guys to hold hands. 

"Hey, want to go up to the Director's office with me. Two kids are supposed to be coming in today. Director asked me to show them around."

Holden nodded. He didn't really want to meet anyone new, but as long as Gage was there it would be all right. And Gage always would be there. After all, they made a promise.


End file.
